


Beyond the Boundaries

by the_little_guru



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Bottom Erwin Week 2015, Eren only appears briefly in the last chapter tbh, Fluff, M/M, Post War, Smut, Thoughts of Suicide, after the war, and if you don't want smut just skip chapters 2 and 4, bottom erwin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-04-05 13:36:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4181808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_little_guru/pseuds/the_little_guru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The war has been won. The titans are gone. Levi and Erwin too are gone, since they have no more purpose. They decide to go off on their own outside the walls, and Erwin finally takes a break from being a leader. Bottom Erwin Week 2015</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Day 1: Vacation

For an entire day after their victory, Erwin and Levi had done nothing but sit on the wall of Shiganshina District and stare blankly into the open horizon, shoulders slumped and bodies still. As if they would collapse from exhaustion if they tried to move and inch. As if the victory would fade into a dream if they dared to join the joyous celebrations below. As if another nightmarish titan would come bursting through the gates as soon as they allowed themselves to believe that they had won...that the titans have forever vanished from the world...  
  
It had been thirty years.  
  
Thirty years since Erwin stepped into the training corps for the first time, sharp and driven and idealistic. He was determined to learn the truth and fight for humanity, and perhaps make his father's spirit proud. After all, Erwin knew it was his own fault his father died a political prisoner.  
  
Years later, even after seeing so much blood and death, he hadn't lost the bright shining idealism that gave him so much will. And in the endgame of war, in the darkest days when his strength dwindled, his mind and body ran for days on willpower alone.  
  
Strangely, it was all gone now. His will and idealism dissolved and vaporized into thin air, like steam rising from the bodies of fallen titans. All he had left was a crippled body and years of suppressed emotions, swirling around until he felt simultaneously numb and overwhelmed. Without moving his eyes, he envisioned the hard earth right outside wall Maria, fifty meters below where he was sitting with his corporal.  
  
It was so far, yet so easy to reach.  
  
So easy to tilt his body forwards slightly and let himself fall. He wasn't wearing any 3D Maneuver gear either; it was too difficult to operate with just one arm. Levi was wearing it though. Levi would try to save him if he jumped, so Erwin decided to stay where he was to save his corporal the trouble.  
  
He felt like he'd been alive to too long. Although he was only in his mid forties, he felt like an old man.  
  
"It's time for me to leave." he murmured in barely audible voice. He felt Levi's pupils dart over from the corners of his sharply tapered eyes.  
  
"Then let's go."  
  
"What?" asked Erwin, still staring straight ahead.  
  
"We can leave. We don't have to come back. Ever." replied Levi, "We deserve a lifelong vacation after all the shit we've been through."  
  
"You won't be mind never seeing anyone again?"  
  
"Ha. Like I would miss the planet's most pathetic living species." said Levi flatly, "Besides, we're too damaged to belong with the rest of humanity anymore."  
  
Erwin felt the corners of his mouth lift ever so slightly. From his peripherals, he saw Levi get up. Moments later, he felt the warmth of a small body standing behind his back.  
  
"Get up."  
  
Erwin did.  
  
"Get on my back."  
  
After Erwin climbed on, Levi hopped off the lip of the wall on the side towards the city and blasted off with his 3D maneuver gear. Moments later, after snatching three horses, a few canisters of fuel, and a month's worth of supplies, Levi and Erwin surreptitiously made their way out of the city. Levi tied the horses together and led them out of the city through one of the titan baits that Hange had built using Eren's crystallizing powers. Then, he mounted his horse and they rode behind a hill, out of sight, as quickly as they could.  
  
Erwin allowed his mind to be utterly, blissfully blank as he watched Levi's short hair bob up and down with every trot of his horse.  
  
"It feels nice to be a follower for once, doesn't it?" asked Levi suddenly.  
  
Erwin hummed noncommittally. It was. He could trust Levi now that it was only his own life on the line.  
  
They continued riding in silence.  
  
Ahead, the landscape stretched out forever, unchanging except for the occasional tree or stream, nestled among rolling, golden hills. Behind, the sun set over the giant walls that mankind was not quite willing to leave.  
  
It was strange, not having a goal, but Erwin decided he could get used to it. The rest of his days would be dedicated to Levi. That was gratification enough. It didn't matter where the winds of fortune chose to take them.  
  
They were at the beginning of a never ending vacation from life, after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 2: Domestic  
> Be prepared for incredible awkwardness

_Fifteen months later... ___  
  
During their travels, Erwin had been surprised by the ruins that he and Levi had encountered, such as deteriorating buildings and abandoned crop fields. Neither of them were farmers or hunters, but it was relatively simple to find food from wild fruit trees that had obviously once been part of an orchard. These were always close to derelict stone structures that Erwin assumed were the remains of villages.  
  
He and Levi rode their horses across grass infested roads that looked to be over a thousand years old, barely distinguishable due to centuries of disuse. Occasionally, they came across massive cities of crumbling stone, a ghostly reminder that mankind, once dominating the world, was now almost extinct.  
  
The altitude rose as they travelled south, and after nearly starving to death, finding a mountain pass, Erwin and Levi had finally reached a flat open plain. The scent of late summer washed over the landscape. Another week of brisk journeying, and they came to more ruins sitting on wide dunes of sand next to...  
  
_Water. ___  
  
So much of it, stretching on and on. Erwin and Levi went to touch it and fill up their containers. But to their surprise, the water was salty! Salt was a novelty within the walls that only the rich could afford. Erwin smiled at the thought of how horrified the merchants would be. Salt was accessible to practically everyone now, if this massive body of water was anything to go by. (Was it called a sea?)  
  
Later, they found a tower-like building. Upon closer inspection, the door at the base was so rusted it snapped off its hinges with the slightest push. Erwin said it looked like some kind of lighthouse, overlooking the ocean. Levi said it looked like a giant penis.  
  
Inside, there were long coils of dried ropes and nets, which Erwin figured were used to catch fish in the saltwater. Additionally, there were many things that looked like they would be used for boats, although slightly different from the boats within the walls. There were only rivers where they came from, and the occasional small lake; none of these vast expanses of water with crashing waves.  
  
"Filthy." remarked Levi as soon as he saw thick film of dust coating the interior of the tower.  
Erwin peeked in from behind.  
  
Immediately, Levi strutted into the room and picked up a brown rag that looked like it had once been white.  
  
"Here." he said shortly, chucking it at Erwin, "Wash this. We will start cleaning now."  
  
"We're staying here?"  
  
"Where else would we stay?" asked Levi, "At least this dick shaped building is still intact, and there's stuff in the salty lake to eat."  
  
"I'm pretty sure it's called an 'ocean,' Levi."  
  
"Good for you."  
  
Erwin waited for Levi to elaborate. Seeing that he would gain no further response, he left the room.  
  
-  
  
Levi looked a little too happy as he watched Erwin on his knees, scrubbing the dust off the cobbled ground.  
  
"Hey Erwin." said Levi.  
  
"What?" asked Erwin, looking up.  
  
Levi smirked and turned away. Erwin raised a quizzical eyebrow before returning to the task at hand.  
  
Levi dragged one of the the odd nets out the door and didn't reappear for a while.  
  
An hour later, the bottom floor was clean, and Levi returned with a single fish and a few creatures that looked like a giant spiders with armor. They had odd pincer-like front claws.  
  
"I don't know what these are, but I'm guessing they're edible." said Levi as he poked the spider thing, causing to snap its claws. Then, he made a little pile of dried twigs, picked up a stone from nearby, and started rubbing it against one of his rusted, worn out blades. A few sparks popped out and the twigs started smoking.  
  
After a while, the fire flared to life, and Erwin helped Levi clean out and skewer the fish and large, armored spider-things. Erwin watched with great intrigue as it steamed. He never really prepared food like this; even on missions, the rations were pretty much ready to eat.  
  
"I'm hungry." he remarked.  
  
Levi turned his head and looked him dead in the eye.  
  
"I'm hungry too."  
  
Erwin suspected Levi's "hungry" had quite a different meaning than his "hungry".  
  
"Do you want something to swallow?"  
  
"I think you should go first." said Levi with a hint of a smirk.  
  
Erwin cocked an eyebrow and remained firmly seated.  
  
Levi crawled over and kneeled so they were about the same height, and he stared Erwin down with eyes half lidded and irises impossibly dark. They were growing closer and closer...  
  
Roughly, impatiently, Levi shoved his lips forwards and hugged against Erwin like a small, horny koala as he lapped at Erwin's mouth. Moments later, he broke away breathless.  
  
"You know," said Levi in a slightly huffy voice, "I haven't wanked in about two weeks."  
  
"Is that so?"  
  
"Yes it is." said Levi, running his nails across the loose fabric on Erwin's chest..."This has to go." he said suddenly, ripping the shirt off with feverish anticipation.  
  
"Undressing is so much easier without our gear." remarked Erwin, watching with hooded eyes as Levi started undoing his pants.  
  
Levi hummed impatiently as he stood up and shoved his hips towards Erwin's face.  
  
Erwin closed his eyes and leaned forwards as thin fingers threaded their way through his flax-colored hair. Levi's breathing sped up and...  
  
**_CRASH! ___ ******  
  
Erwin jumped, startled by the sudden noise. He peered around Levi's legs and saw that their fish had fallen off the skewer and was currently being incinerated.  
  
"Stupid _fucking **SHIT!**_ Dammit!" growled Levi as he leapt up and rushed over without bothering to pull up his pants. "Cooking sucks." he snapped, trying to save the charred remains of their dinner.  
  
Erwin couldn't agree more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha. You probably hate me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 3: Temperature

The first thing Erwin noticed about their new location was how much hotter it was. By the early summer, the sun beat down on burning, sandy shores, and the lighthouse they lived in became unbearably warm. The only way to avoid the heat was by going into the cool, salty sea. They went almost every day, stripping completely bare (who cared? There were no other humans around to see) and lounging around in the clear waves.  
  
At first, neither of them knew how to swim. Levi grew up in the underground, where there was no water clean enough to submerge in, and Erwin never bothered to learn. He was always more interested in staying inside and reading.  
  
Neither dared to go further than where their feet could reach the bottom. (At least up to where Erwin's feet could reach. Levi was so small he could only go a couple meters out with his head above water, so he usually rode on Erwin's back.)  
  
The first time Erwin went far out, he nearly panicked at the feeling of the cold undercurrent brushing against his toes, with no sand to lean back on. In fact, he might've drowned if Levi hadn't floundered over to pull him back. He and Levi flailed back to the shore with all the grace of an aberrant titan. Breathing heavily, Levi shot him a look with concern carefully disguised as irritation, and announced that it was time to go back and scrounge up something to eat.  
  
If the local vegetation hasn't all withered in the sun.  
  
-  
Even their horses seemed to be affected by the hot climate. The three mares had always been patient and mellow, but now, they were cranky, restless, and constantly walking around in circles. Also, Erwin noticed that they've been getting much fatter. He attributed their unusual behavior to boredom.  
  
"I think it's time these horses got some exercise." said Levi, walking over to pat a horse on the side. Then, he hastily drew his hand away and wiped it down his pants, a disgruntled grimace plastered on his face.  
  
"What's wrong?" asked Erwin.  
  
"It's _moist. _" answered Levi with distaste.__  
  
Upon closer inspection, the horses' hides were glistening. That was odd. Horses didn't usually sweat this much.  
  
"Let's bring them into the shade." said Erwin as he reached for the horse's muzzle.  
  
And the horse _snapped _at him.__  
  
Erwin was affronted. These horses were specifically bred to be calm and obedient. This was quite uncharacteristic behavior. Maybe it had rabies?  
  
"Let's just go." said Levi, tugging on Erwin's good arm, "We can deal with the horses tomorrow morning."  
  
"Really."  
  
"Yes." said Levi, pulling more insistently.  
  
"What's so important tonight, that the horses have to wait until tomorrow?" asked Erwin with the smallest of smirks.  
  
"I'm sweating my ass off, and feeling kinda pissed about the weather." said Levi dangerously, "And _you _are going to come along and cheer me up."__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. That felt really rushed.  
> btw, that thing with the horses actually has a purpose, but you won't find out until later!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is very late.  
> Day 4 and 5: Missing arm and first time.

_"Levi..." _breathed Erwin as the shorter man sucked a dark bruise onto the side of his neck, each of them stripping as quickly as possible without breaking body contact.__  
  
Behind them, a brilliant sunset blazed over the waves of the ocean, painting hues, yellow and violets to create a background to the crimson sun, bleeding into the sea. Erwin could see the colors from the top of lighthouse, where they created a "bedroom" of sorts. It was actually just a pile of dried seaweed covered the hide off a whale they found washed up on shore. Although it didn't look safe to eat, they tried to use the other body parts however they could. The bones sat in a pile on the edge of the beach, away from where the tide could carry it off, and various organs were laid out to dry. The smell had been awful initially, but it was wearing away after a few days. The fat was made into oil for lamps, which were currently burning in the bedroom, casting soft shadows across the stone walls as the light and color from the sunset faded away.  
  
Erwin wrapped an arm around Levi and fell back into the mattress, bracing with his other arm...  
  
"Ah!" hissed Erwin as he landed awkwardly on his side, forgetting all about his missing appendage. Levi puffed a breath into Erwin's shoulder as he was crushed beneath.  
  
"Sorry Levi." said Erwin, scrambling off.  
  
"You're too fat." wheezed Levi as he wriggled out, "Thanks for killing the mood, by the way."  
  
Erwin sighed heavily.  
  
He'd been living without an arm for years and he hasn't accidentally tried to use it since a month after the titan first bit it off. It impaired his abilities quite a lot. Even so, he never felt a great sense of loss, or depression, or phantom limb syndrome which Hange said was common among people who lost appendages. There was no time to brood over something as insignificant as losing his arm when there were so many plans to be made, mysteries to discover about the nature of the walls, overthrowing the power which allowed humans to control titans...  
  
Perhaps the years of suppressed feelings were starting to worm back up.  
  
"Hey, Erwin." murmured Levi, placing a hand on his shoulder. Then he carefully brought his lips down and kissed a trail from his neck to the blossom of scars shrouding the stump.  
  
Erwin turned his head and stared at Levi, not sure whether or not he should be surprised. Levi had always been perceptive, no matter how callous he made himself out to be. Although his eyes were shadowed, there was always turbulent emotion buried deep inside. Although he was the toughest soldier, he always had a rather...delicate...look about him. Beautiful and intense like a tiny, condensed ball of energy. Small boned like a bird...small nose, small mouth, small hands, and ears.  
  
Not like _him _. Everything about Erwin was large and blunt, from his stature to his oversized eyes and nose. Perhaps even his heart was blunted and wrung dry and patched up so many times it was more like a fossil than an organ. It didn't deserve to pump warm blood through his scarred body and cold mind. He had served his purpose...he shouldn't be here anymore...__  
  
"Quit staring, you creep, and do something." said Levi suddenly, his eyes flashing with alarm, "Just think about now. Thats all that matters presently."  
  
Erwin snapped out of his thoughts and saw Levi kneeling in front, looking at him expectantly.  
  
An uncomfortably warm feeling started to spread into Erwin brain and his chest contracted painfully. It felt hard to breath and his heart and throat both felt too tight, so tight it hurt. It was oddly familiar and uncomfortable, yet it felt... _natural _...for once. What was this feeling?__  
  
Erwin didn't figure it out until a drop of liquid landed on the mattress in front of his face.  
  
_Was he crying? ___  
  
It was the first time in his memory that he cried. In his entire life, he didn't remember shedding a single tear. Not when a kid in preschool pushed him off the playground. Not when he was ostracized for being a "smart ass" at school. Not even when he lost his father and his mother hugged him with tears streaming from her eyes every time they visited the gravestone.  
  
Then again, he'd only been a spoiled little boy at the time. He didn't know anything.  
  
Not anymore.  
  
Crying was so odd, and Erwin felt almost ashamed as Levi looked up to him with wide eyes and peppered his face with worried kisses.  
  
Feverishly, Erwin ducked his face downwards and his lips crashed into Levi's. A flood of memories, every single tragedy he'd ever experienced, rushed into his brain like water breaking through the dam of a swollen reservoir.  
  
"Erwin?" asked Levi.  
  
"I'm fine." said Erwin in what he hoped was a steady voice, "Just...help me forget."  
  
Levi stared at him with sharp, bottomless eyes for a long heartbeat, before springing forwards.  
  
The kiss started out gentle, but grew more and more feverish as Erwin parted his lips and allowed Levi to probe inside.  
  
Then, Levi stuck his fingers into Erwin's mouth and gently palmed his cock with the other hand. Lightly, he ran his teeth over Erwin's throat, pausing to bite on the adam's apple before soothing it with his tongue.  
  
Erwin inhaled sharply around the fingers thrusting in and out of his mouth. He watched, fascinated, as Levi withdrew his fingers from his mouth and trailed them down his torso.  
  
"You know, I'm gonna be in charge this time." said Levi, eyes glinting almost dangerously.  
  
"Do whatever you want." replied Erwin softly.  
  
"Do you really want that?" asked Levi, kissing him again, _"Slut." ___  
  
Erwin groaned softly into Levi's mouth, feeling out of his element yet more turned on than any other time in his life. Levi paused to circle a finger around the flushed, swollen head of this erection before lightly trailing it down and probing his entrance.  
  
Carefully, Levi pushed a single finger in, eliciting a hiss from Erwin, who squeezed his eyes shut.  
  
"Hmmp. I just realized we've never done this, huh?" murmured Levi, sucking on the inside of Erwin's thigh while adding another finger.  
  
"Yeah." breathed Erwin, gasping as Levi roughly thrust his fingers in again.  
  
"Heh. So you're basically a little virgin." said Levi smugly, "Relax, Erwin."  
  
"I am relaxed." Erwin replied stiffly. Truth be told, fingering didn't feel too great. A little odd, but he didn't feel the electric pleasure that Levi described, not until-  
  
_"Nnnngg..." _he groaned suddenly as he felt Levi's fingers brush against something that sent shivers throughout his whole body. Levi smirked.__  
  
"Is this good now?" whispered Levi as he crooked his fingers again.  
  
Erwin tried to answer, but only managed an embarrassingly wanton whimper as Levi spread him open. Then, he felt Levi wrap his other around his weeping cock and stroke it agonizingly slow. He felt his blood heating up now...  
  
Abruptly, Levi withdrew his hands.  
  
Erwin let out a hiss of frustration, which was quickly muffled as Levi crawled up to kiss him ravenously. Levi wrapped his wiry arms around Erwin's torso and propped him up. Somehow, they made their way up against the wall, and Levi shoved him backwards, never breaking lip contact. He felt Levi groan into his mouth as he ground their erections together, desperately seeking raw friction.  
  
With a small growl Levi pressed his forearm against Erwin's chest, pinning him to the coarse brick wall behind, other hand gripping his ass as while positioning himself.  
  
"Make sure you relax." whispered Levi in his ear. Erwin felt himself subconsciously resisting entrance anyways.  
  
"Fuck... _ahh...Levi... _" Erwin choked as he felt Levi slide in, inch by agonizing inch. He never could've imagined feeling so painfully full, like every inch was stretched almost to breaking. Levi wasn't even that large; not nearly as large as Erwin. Erwin had had no clue how Levi managed to take _his _entire length.____  
  
" _Shit...Erwin, _you're so tight." Levi hissed through gritted teeth. Erwin felt tense throbbing inside him, and he could tell the other man had trouble holding himself back. Levi had surprisingly little self control during sex.__  
  
"You don't need to restrain yourself." Erwin whispered into Levi's ear, "Go hard on me."  
  
"That's what you want?" Levi murmured back still barely moving his hips.  
  
"Yes..." breathed Erwin, still feeling a tug of that desperate sadness from before, "I don't want to remember anything."  
  
Levi leaned in and kissed him with a mess of teeth and tongue until they were both lightheaded.  
  
_"Slut!" _he snarled, suddenly burying himself to the hilt.__  
  
"Ahh!" shouted Erwin.  
  
"Tonight, you'll remember _my _name only."__  
  
Another stroke. Then another. Then another, each one so forceful he heard the crude slap of skin on skin, and felt his hips slamming against the wall behind. Each thrust he could feel Levi tearing in and out, spreading him open. Each thrust ripped out a choked groan from his heaving chest. He buried his face in Levi's shoulder to muffle the sounds.  
  
Everything was burning and blurring together. He felt like a searing, white hot bolt of pleasure ripped through him from the inside every time Levi slammed against him. He felt like his brain was slowly melting and sliding away as his head filling with lust and love and the hot desire to be consumed.  
  
Erwin wrapped his legs around Levi's narrow, muscular waist and his one arm around his shoulders, lamenting the fact that he will never be able to fully embrace Levi again. Stupid titans. Stupid arms. Stupid life. Stupid-  
  
"I thought I told you to forget everything but my name." hissed Levi as he delivered a particularly hard thrust.  
  
_"Levi!" _Erwin gasped gutturally as his train of thought was immediately shattered.__  
  
They spun around and Erwin felt himself falling backwards, boneless, until his back hit the mattress. Levi hiked Erwin's legs up so the backs of his knees rested on Levi's shoulders. Then, he wrapped his calloused fingers against Erwin's neck and pinned him against the mattress by the throat.  
  
"I'm gonna fuck your brains out so hard." growled Levi, picking up a brutal pace while his fingers dug into Erwin's neck.  
  
Erwin felt so far removed now. The restricted levels of oxygen were pushing his mind somewhere far away from the earth, and the entire world was swimming out of his senses, except for the rhythmic bolts of burning pleasure and the sight of Levi's face: piercing, lust darkened eyes, framed by thin brows knit with concentration; mouth set in a feral snarl; rivulets of shiny sweat running down his temples and fine black hairs plastered to his dainty cheekbones.  
  
"Fuck." groaned Levi, "Fucking shit you're so hot."  
  
Erwin didn't even care that he was probably making the most embarrassing noises and flushed red as a tomato right now. He let out a broken cry, growing more and more lightheaded from Levi's chokehold. He rutted upwards, deliriously seeking friction for his neglected cock as Levi continued to pound into him relentlessly. But when he brought down a hand to touch himself, Levi swatted it away and squeezed his throat tighter.  
  
"You wanna come?" smiled Levi. It was the scariest thing Erwin ever saw.  
  
"Y...ye....s..." groaned Erwin, desperate for a breath of air.  
  
_"Beg." ___  
  
"Pl...pl...ease...se..." he choked out, not even pretending to be shameful.  
  
"Alright. Since I'm feeling generous." hissed Levi, allowing Erwin to jerk himself off.  
  
Meanwhile, Levi fucked him even deeper, rougher, faster...almost animalistically. Every few thrusts he would hiss out a gritted obscenity or savagely kiss Erwin's mouth, swallowing his moans.  
  
"Come with me, Erwin." panted Levi into his ear, "I wanna see you come with my cock up your ass."  
  
That did it.  
  
_"Levi!" _sobbed Erwin, convulsing violently as a searing, fiery heat tore through his entire body, sparks seared into his eyelids, shudders running down his spine when Levi filled him with hot seed, lungs burning from oxygen deprivation, and thick spurts of white liquid splattered across his abdominals as he felt himself climaxing _ _HARD. _ _So hard, in fact, that he was pretty sure he passed out for a full ten seconds.______  
  
When he came to, Levi was watching him with an uncharacteristically soft expression. This was quickly rectified once he realized Erwin was awake.  
  
"Hey." he said.  
  
"Hey Levi..." slurred Erwin in a sleepy voice, _"I love you." ___  
  
Then, he collapsed against the mattress.  
  
"Erwin, you...ahem..." said Levi awkwardly, "I mean, me too."  
  
But Erwin was already dead asleep. The blush was fading from his cheeks and his broad chest rose and fell slowly with each deep breath.  
  
Levi shook his head and got up from the mattress to get Erwin's green cape from across the room. The color from the wings of freedom emblem was starting to fade, and it became increasingly threadbare, but it was still relatively nice.  
  
He draped it over Erwin's sleeping form and curled up next to him, warm and sated, and fell into an exhausted, dreamless sleep.  
  
Fucking his commander into oblivion was quite a lot of work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. That was probably the most brutally awkward thing I've ever written. Also, idk if it Erwin 1st time crying or his 1st time bottoming. Maybe both?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 6: Distance

When Erwin woke up the next morning, the bed was already cold. He breathed deeply, inhaling the scent of salt and sea flooding through the broken windows on a humid breeze. He sighed contentedly and stretched out and winced when a dull ache blossomed from his backside. Erwin reddened slightly when memories last night's activities came back. It was...quite an experience.

As he gingerly made his way down the rickety spiral steps of the lighthouse, he knew that something had changed that night. Something had shifted in his relationship with himself and the rest of the world. In times of war, Erwin could not afford to show his human emotion, not to the public, not to his friends. He distanced his mind from grief, despair, guilt and happiness, often for such long periods of times that he wondered if the emotions had left forever. It was as if a solid stone wall of apathy placed itself between him and humanity, and the only way past was through a tiny, tiny crack...small enough for only  _ one _ person to peer in from...   


_ Levi _ .   


Levi was his only attachment and weakness, and only Levi experienced Erwin's fleeting flashes of trust, guilt, or carnality, in violent and explosive bursts. And yet, not even Levi knew all of him. Why did he even stick around all these years? Erwin was cold and detached and constantly took and  _ took _ and  _ took _ Levi's affections, but gave little of his emotions back in return. It was ironic how he wouldn't allow himself to have a deep emotional connection with any human beings, since it was a hindrance to his ambitions of freeing humanity.   


It was not until last night Erwin's walls collapsed, so spontaneously he didn't even notice until the floodgates opened all the way and his carefully constructed facade was washed away. Now, Erwin didn't even know who he was anymore. Maintaining his hard-bred control was like trying to catch smoke between his fingertips. 

But it wasn't too bad. He was still safe because he had Levi.   


Last night was the first time he let Levi all the way inside. (In the most literal sense)   


Finally, he allowed his humanity to reappear in his life.   


Suddenly, he heard a rapid smattering of footsteps and looked up.   


"Erwin!" said Levi in an uncharacteristically excited voice, "Erwin, you have to see this."   


"What?"   


"Come here." said Levi, walking down towards the rickety little horse stable a distance away from the lighthouse, sitting at the edge of an open field of coarse, long grasses.   


The bright morning sun gleamed off the backs of their three mares, grazing in the field. It was a typical sight. The sight they woke up to every morning.   


“What am I looking at again?” asked Erwin dubiously.   


Then he noticed.   


Three considerably smaller and shorter heads were bobbing up and down, weaving through the field.   


Erwin gaped. "Are those..."   


"Yeah." said Levi, breathless.   


"When did this happen?" asked Erwin, eyes widening, "This is probably why the horses behaved so strangely recently!"   


"Heh." snickered Levi, "We take our horses outside the walls and they get knocked up in less than a year."   


"Do you have any idea how to take care of foals?" asked Erwin.   


"Nope." replied Levi as he walked towards the horses, "Do you?"   


"No." said Erwin, smiling anyways, "I guess we'll play by ear."   


Upon closer inspection, one of the foals were black, one dark chestnut, and one pale gold. They trotted around each other and occasionally went to their mothers for feeding. As Erwin watched, he couldn't help but feel an odd sense of familiarity. Apparently Levi felt the same way.   


"Those foals remind me of something." said Levi, "But I don't know what."   


Erwin hummed noncommittally and kept staring, wracking his brains for an inkling of why he felt like he knew them...   


"The kids." said Erwin suddenly.   


"What kids?" snapped Levi.   


"The 104th squad." said Erwin, staring at the frolicking horses. Levi looked back and his eyes widened.   


"Yeah...the really do, don't they?"   


"It almost feels like we're back in the corps again." said Erwin wistfully, "Do you remember the first time we met those three?"   


"Yeah. That was fun." said Levi with a wry smile, no doubt remembering how he beat up the poor Jaeger boy.   


"They must've grown so much by now." said Erwin distantly, "They may even have kids of their own now."   


"Oh stop with your sentimental bullshit." said Levi, punching him on the shoulder.   


"Do you think they miss us?"   


"Maybe a little." said Levi as he placed a hand on Erwin's shoulder, "Do you regret leaving everyone?"   


"Not at all." smiled Erwin, burying his face in Levi's hair.   


"Someone's happy this morning." said Levi smugly as he flipped Erwin over and pinned him flat against the grass.   


"That's because I'm with you." said Erwin, lightly kissing Levi's jaw.   


"Ugh, when did you turn into such fucking sap." groused Levi, but allowed Erwin to continue anyways.   


"Since we moved away from everyone."   


"I think it's screwing you up." said Levi as he bent down and kissed Erwin.   


"Actually, that's all your doing." said Erwin, slightly out of breath.   


"Want me to do it some more?"   


"Yeah...let's go inside."   


"Why?" asked Levi, making no attempt to move off him, "It's not like there's anyone around to see us."

Erwin supposed that's true. But it still felt a little awkward out in the open like this.   


"Hey, if you're not comfortable, we can go." said Levi as he started climbing off.   


"No." said Erwin, grabbing Levi's wrist, "Let's stay here."   


"You sure?"   


Erwin nodded and leaned his head upwards.   


"It's kinda nice to live so far from everyone." said Levi suddenly.   


"Why's that?"   


"We can have sex all sorts of weird places and nobody'd care." said Levi, running his lips along Erwin's ear.   


"And that's the only reason?" laughed Erwin with a shiver.   


"And the fact that I don't have to share you with anyone." said Levi, burying his hands in his flax-colored hair.   


"Mmm. I'm all yours." hummed Erwin.   


"Yeah. We don't have to have anyone else around."   


"You're all I need." murmured Erwin before Levi proceeded to kiss him breathless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No more smut. Sorry. :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this is late.  
> Last installment of Bottom Erwin Week 2015: Surprise

_Ten months later..._

Autumn was fading away, and Erwin and Levi gathered as much food as they could for the winter. The ocean was always available, but it was unpleasant to go fishing in cold waters. 

The two had become quite proficient in living alone in the wild, with only the sea and land to depend upon. After a bit of exploring, they discovered abandoned farms a distance away, overrun with olive trees, grapevines, and dozens of odd crops such as onions, beets, and parsnips, mixed with grasses and wheat. It took them an entire summer to figure out how to plant crops, and by that time, it was too late to grow anything. 

Erwin was concerned. It was their second winter living away from society, and he felt more than a little unprepared for it. Erwin and Levi hadn't managed to make it all the way out of the mountains during their first winter, and nearly starved. In fact, they probably wouldn't've made it if they hadn't discovered a mysterious dead bear in their path. Erwin was suspicious at first, but hunger won over. Even Levi ate it without cringing (but then again, he _was_ from the underground, which explained his odd dietary tolerance). 

After that ordeal, Erwin was always worried about supplies. It wasn’t like he could just wheedle funds and supplies by kissing up to the nobles anymore. His social astuteness was rendered useless. Once he was outside the walls, all he could do was try his best to survive whatever the earth and skies threw at him. Sometimes, he wished they lived with the rest of humanity, if only to be certain of Levi's safety and comfort. 

Erwin smiled as he watched Levi meticulously groom through their chestnut foal's mane, muttering under his breath about what a pain it was to take care of them. 

Some things never change. 

"Levi." said Erwin, gesturing for him to come over, "Take a break." 

"But I need to finish." said Levi, wrestling to make the foal stay still, "Look at how filthy this is. I bet Agnes has been-" 

"You've named him already?" 

_"Her."_ said Levi irritably, "Agnes is a girl's name, and this horse is a girl." 

" _Ah._..okay. What about the other ones?" asked Erwin, pointing at the black and yellow foals. 

"The black one's Hogarth and the yellow one's Lionel." 

"Levi, no offense, but those are the most awful names I've ever heard." laughed Erwin. 

"I'd like to hear _you_ think of something better." sniffed Levi when he finished brushing the horse's hair. 

"Or we could just name them all after the kids from your squad." 

"No. If I have to deal with one more Jaeger-related thing one more time in my life, I swear all my hairs will turn grey." 

"They're already so grey around your temples." said Erwin, running his thick fingers through Levi's hair. Levi smacked him in the forehead with a childish scowl.

It was odd how lax their appearances must be; Erwin's undercut was completely gone, and Levi's hair had turned into a bowl, making him look like even more of a child (if it weren't for the silver hairs at his temples and the grumpy expression perpetually glued to his face.) Both had copious amounts of stubble, since they had to shave using the dull blades in the swords cartridge that Levi brought when they started their journey about two years ago. All their clothing was torn, dirty and threadbare, so they created new clothing from a pile of coarse, canvas like cloth in the lighthouse what had probably been used to make sails at one point. Neither of them knew how to sew, and they didn't have any thread in the first place, so they looked like they were wearing oversized togas held together with flimsy pieces of rope.

Levi said that if anyone from the walls saw their appearances now, they’d become the laughingstock of mankind.

It was good that nobody was watching.

Levi and Erwin sat down, side by side on a sun-warmed rock by the side of the pasture, flinching just the slightest bit when a chill breeze swept in from the ocean, bringing with it the first hint of winter.

Suddenly, Erwin’s ear’s picked up the faint sound of a barking dog. He stood.

“Levi, do you hear that?”

But Levi was already hurrying across the field, towards the origin of the sound.

Mere moments later, the barking stopped, but Erwin and Levi were close enough to hear a _human_ voice scolding it, followed by some sycophantic whimpers.

Erwin’s eyes widened as he glanced at Levi, but the shorter man was squinting intensely at the third party, who was fixing the leash of his dog with his back turned to them. He was tall and skinny, with dark brown, shoulder length hair and _Erwin’s bolo tie_ in the hand that was not holding onto the dog’s leash.

Levi narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

“We’re being tracked.” said Erwin.

“No shit.”

Suddenly, the dog’s ears visibly perked up and it turned towards where their position behind the bush. Its owner turned as well, and Erwin and Levi were momentarily frozen at the shock of meeting a pair of familiar, teal eyes, attached to an oddly mature face.

“ _Jaeger?_ ”

-

After a short trek back, Eren carefully entered the door of the lighthouse that his two former commanding officers had come to call home. It was unsurprisingly neat and clean, with a few bags of vegetables hanging from the ceiling and a few pieces of driftwood stacked in the corner. Near the edge of the wall, there was a black scorch mark from where a fire had been lit and relit dozens of times to make meals, but besides from that, the stone floors looked nearly pristine from being carefully swept, scrubbed, and stepped-upon.

Eren stood in the doorway a moment and watched as his two disparate middle-aged ex-superiors stood side by side, quietly bickering about some arbitrary thing unintended for his ears.

It was oddly domestic, and for a moment, he felt a surge of second-hand happiness from witnessing the secluded partnership of the two men whose lives had been so far submerged in blood and grime. Blood and grime which had finally been washed away by the mild ocean and yellow sun, shining through the wild and unpolluted air outside the confines of humanity.

It was as if they’d finally made peace with the world.

Standing side by side, the two had the look of two stones with ragged edges worn smooth so they fit together seamlessly, deeply exhausted from their past, and deeply invigorated for their future. The Captain stared up into the Commander’s eyes with a smile, a _genuine smile_ , and gently pat him on the arm.

They were so happy, so _heart-wrenchingly_ happy together, and suddenly, Eren felt as if he was trespassing on something precious and sacred.

Slowly, he stole away from the lighthouse and mounted his horse. The green landscape streaked past his peripherals as he nudged with sides of his horse to go faster, farther and father away from where the Captain and Commander were still undoubtably gazing into each other's eyes. He doubted that his two former superiors would mind if he left them alone for just a little longer.

It was time to return back to humanity with a few false reports about his _unsuccessful_ attempts in locating the two missing men.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments would be greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing for SNK! And First time posting on AO3! Any feedback is much appreciated.


End file.
